Varied pace of life

There are days when life is so fast that you hardly notice timefly...day has hardly got a few moments for you to breath and then there are times when you have time, to feel your own breath, hear your own heart beat and talk to yourself. Time when you are your own company and trust me, its a lovely feeling... These moments are so rare that you just want to cherish them but yes the short they are sweeter they seem.

Having raced through time for the last month or so, today had time to reflect. No mood swings today, just plain time; all to myself. Every breath was so relaxed, so by itself unaware that the next one is waiting for it to complete. A fresh whiff of air waiting to fill my lungs, freshness filling my soul.

A day when every second was thinking and asking me before it moved, not sure from where time got so much lease at hand. Time wanted to enjoy my solitude today, it wanted to stay with me for company and I dint mind it either. A companion who could tell me what I did wrong, when I hurt others and I know there were many instances. Many instances to never ever be repeated and will make an effort for the same... Not sure can change self so fast but yes the effort will be there.

Had some pleasant things to reflect back on. Its a different kind of joy when you know you are finally heading home. Even when you are paying a price for the same, but then nothing can be more precious than time with your family your dearones and felt this when a colleague was heading home after an extended stay of over 1.5 years. Remembered the time when I first left home, for a long time and could not get over that feeling of leaving home, leaving my city that in the morning kept driving across the roads, feeling my home, my city for as long as I could afford to. But then each of these steps are required and need to be taken to feel the joy of homecoming, to take a step towards home and am headed the same way...

Few more days

Few days have passed since I first posted here, few days have passed since I knew what I was upto. Lost in wilderness of the numerous passing moments, am dumstuck here not knowing what to do and what to say.

My wait for life has been long; know this is a relative term - but with each passing day, it keeps getting longer. Its not the pain which bothers, its just the indifference that does. Well each one has his/her own take on life and so does my life.

I stand in a crowd...in midst of people, I know. People who call themselves friends, but still there is a lot of solitude, a lot of pain, a need for a hand, need for that one shoulder. Do I realize that wants are endless...what if I were to want you and may be this is my want and not my need but that's the emotion that builds in me - that's the emotion that creeps every now and then, on every moment I try to live, I try to cry. But then its a passing phase, another drop of emotion, of experience in this vast ocean of beats I have in my heart.

Yes, the wait seems a little bit more longer, a bit more taxing - I know it will be worth it. I have maybe a few more days to wait - wait for life and I know its coming, its round the corner, at the end of this tunnel and I have a hope - this tunnel is not very long.